venting
why the hell do i keep deleteing everything i type...im perty sure ive started 10+ sencteces on this thing and i keep starting over...anyways so my life currently iiiiiiiiiiis
my new job at bookland ^_^ that isent really all that new anymore...but it still my job at bookland. and it equals lots of fun! most of the time. the pay is minimum wage but its better then murdering myself and risking life and limb on a construction site though if i must i must. im debating on waht i should be doing right now. wethier i should go ahead and move out just out of principle or if i should stay living here because im not making 10.00 + an hour, and thats what i wanted to be making when i moved out. i dont want to end up falling apart. kind of like only get married once if your not sure dont do it ya know?? i dont want to mess up and end up having to move back in.
my main motivation for doing this is that i jsut turned 21
and the reason for staying is that im still in school.
idk ill find out next quarter whats up with my hope and everything and that will decide on what i want to do.
to be honest lately ive really jsut been wanting to fall into a 40 hour a week job wheere i can move up in a company and make a good amount of money doing something i like. of course this is waht the majority of people are trying to get more or less. i think what i really need to do (obviously) is jsut finish school and have osme sort of something in my hand so that way if i decide to move i will always have that to fall back on.
of course tahts what i said with the whole ac thing and i stopped doing that. it wasent intelligent for me to have started in that anyways i wasted time and my money.
ya know what i really want.
and maybe this is the source of my problem
id relaly like to meet someone and have a nice long relationship that ended err...haha continued in marriage, and have the person be about in the same place i am and us help each other out. combine 2 incomes, hell share a car, share ONE rental of an apartment or house. i think that would be fun as hell. but then thats the only focus i have right now ha meeting someone. and tehre is my problem i think. its not taht it distracts me from other things... i go to work and school and waht not but really i dont think any of that matters. i do it but i dont care about it.
maybe im perfect and the rest of the world hates me for it.
bahahaha
joke
idk...im not wanting to be a millionare or be famous or run a big company. i just want to meet a cute girlie that wants to be aaaaaaaaaa teacher ^_^ oooooooooooor a lawyer oooooooooor hell...anything....maybe thats a problem there. im like hey i want someone who wants to be something and im not trying to be "something" im just wanting to be doing something. not that i dont have desires to be something but theres alot of somethnigs i like to be or be doing. but yeah meet them and and help each other out. ya know id problem help someone get threw college. id be like ehy babe its cool ^_^ ill work while you go to school and ill keep the rent payed and frig. filled and lights on. to bad things arent that simple...actually they are that simple but people suck so it kinda kills it.
ha i wonder if i will delete this tommorrow.
thats all for now i guess
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